Let’s face it…we live in a world with people who push our buttons. People we work with, customers, our spouse, our children, and even our pets can irritate us and push us over the edge. At our house, we have a cat who has been part of our family for over ten years. Now, the grammar checker on my computer wants me to change the previous phrase from “a cat who has been part of our family” to “a cat that has been part of our family,” but please understand, Sunshine is a full-fledged member of the Baldwin family. She’s in our Christmas Pictures, she sleeps on our beds, she has her own kitty “Fiesta-ware” in the kitchen, she has her own
bathroom, and, she even sits on our furniture. She is truly a member of our family and is unequivocally LOVED by every one of us. But here’s the thing, Sunshine can irritate the stuffing out of me because she sheds on EVERYTHING! We have cat fur on the beds. There is cat fur on the floor, cat fur on the walls, and there is even cat hair on my chair, which then gets on my clothes, which makes me have to stop and get a lint roller, which makes me late to work. Her shedding is irritating and it really needs to stop!
So, to help her make this necessary change, we purchased all kinds of gadgets: Kitty combs, fur eliminating gloves, and early on, we even gave her kitty showers – They didn’t work, we just ended up with fresh smelling fur everywhere. So, we’ve finally given up on trying to change our beloved kitty and accept that’s just the way she was made. Why? Because we love having her around and clearly, she’s NOT going to change – no matter how many kitty showers she gets.
Interestingly enough, I find the same principle is useful for those annoying people in our lives. No matter how hard we try, we can’t change them: They’re always late or way too early. Perhaps they talk too much or too little. Maybe they are too driven by lists or are not driven enough. They focus too much on the future or can’t see beyond their nose. The bottom line is that some people aren’t like you and me. They’re wired differently and it can get irritating. And so the question becomes, how do you live with challenging people who are made so differently than us? Answer: Love them.
Consider the following…There were some people in the ancient city of Corinth who struggled to get along. They were different from each other and they insisted that everyone in their community should be like everyone else. In essence, they struggled to get along and their answer to their struggle was to be like one another (Read 1 Corinthians 12 in the Bible to see the whole story). Ultimately getting others to change didn’t work (it never does) so they turned to their mentor and asked him what they could do live in harmony and he wrote back the following: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
I’ve given up trying to change Sunshine’s shedding. I am patient with my kitty. I am kind to her. I don’t keep a record of wrongs (well, not to hold against her anyway), and I let her sit in my chair. And because I choose to love her instead of trying to change her, we live in proximity quite blissfully. So next time your find yourself with someone who is annoying you (be it your spouse, your kids, your best friend, your parents, your colleagues, or whomever), instead of demanding that they change to become more like you, try patience, kindness, or joy for the other person’s unique creation and gifting. You never know, the relationship that you foster, just might bring a smile to your face, like Sunshine does to ours.
I knew you liked her!!!!