Have you seen this meme? Clearly I have, and I have to admit it fires me up – not in a good way, mind you, but it inspires me to offer up an alternative perspective to the same story.  As someone who has seen firsthand the wounds carried by those who question their own personal faith in God, I can say with unequivocal certainty that such a statement, while perhaps well intentioned, is legalistic Phariseeism. And honestly, posts like this need to stop if we in the church have any true desire of obeying The Lord’s command to make disciples.

Sadly, it reflects how discipleship is done today…we want quick, easy, clean soundbite theology that fits comfortably on twitter and Snapchat so we can give a tacit thumbs up approval and move on, but that’s just

not the reality of walking with God – certainly not for people who wrestle with their faith in God because of their experience with a local body of believers.  People who question their faith in God carry wounds within their soul that are real, and deep, and raw, and many times, inflicted by the very people who claim that they are the Body of Christ on Earth. Why wouldn’t someone question their faith in God if God’s people continue to wound God’s people and blame the wounded instead of the taking responsibility for the wounding?

Enough is enough and it’s time for these bullying tactics to end! If the church is truly serious about making disciples (and she should be), we in the church must take steps to stop shooting our wounded and clucking our tongues at them when they choose to stay away. What follows are some thoughts as to how we might do that:

Please stop presuming that you know why others have misplaced faith or are wrong in their fear to return to a fellowship of believers.  They are not wrong; Perhaps you simply don’t understand – not completely anyway. As I noted before, the wounds carried by those who question their faith are real, and deep, and raw, and many times, inflicted by the very people to whom others say they should return. Would any rational person suggest an abused child who’s found the courage to leave their abusers return to their abusers without some form of substantive reform on the part of the abuser? I hope not…. I certainly wouldn’t.

Please explore the possibility that the church, as the embodiment of Christ on Earth, might have a responsibility in their crisis of faith. The felt need to publicly chide or challenge the thinking of those who are struggling with their faith is fascinating to me. I’m not suggesting that believers shouldn’t have the truth; we should – for the truth will indeed set us free. I’m just amazed (as in dumbfounded, not awed) that the perceived need is to offer a response like the meme above rather than offer an apology for the church’s legalistic assertiveness and a call for the church to repent. Judgmental attitudes and actions of God’s people have played a large role in creating the crisis of faith in many of The Lord’s sheep and the assumption that those who are done with church don’t desire meaningful faith in God and fellowship with God’s people reflects an incomplete understanding of who we are. If one (rightly) longs to see people who are done with “the church” return to fellowship, please stop brushing the church’s sinful attitudes aside with trite phrases and internet memes; instead, encourage the church take responsibility for her judgmental attitudes and actions. (N.B. – This idea has it Genesis from Jesus Himself in Matthew 7:1-6)

Please explore the possibility that the attitudes and actions for which the church might take responsibility are not to correct the thinking or feelings of those who question their faith in God (that role is better suited for the Holy Spirit), but for the church to grow to be more like Jesus. If the church as a whole would grow in patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, humility, respect, and perhaps even forgiveness (Essentially, obey and embody 1 Corinthians 13 instead of posting it in a frame on a wall in the church office) there is a very good chance that those who are done with church might return to the body under the umbrella of a relationship founded securely on love because the safety that is so desperately needed to deal honestly with our wounds would be present.

I wish I could say that short, pithy internet memes like this are helpful but sadly, they are not. They don’t convince me to return to “church” but rather simply shake my head in disbelief. It’s not that I think the author’s heart to see believers return to fellowship isn’t right, I believe it is. I am simply stunned at the solution…to shake fingers at those who chose to no longer play the religious game rather than use those fingers to pull the log out of the church’s collective eye is unfathomable to me. Call that judgmental if you must, but blaming the wounded for their “woundedness” while simply brushing off the church’s responsibility will not work in our call to make disciples. I have had the “privilege(?)” of not being “in church”[1] for over five years and have seen firsthand that Jesus is not irrelevant to the World. What is irrelevant to the World is the way that the church behaves in the World. It’s time for the Body of Christ to become more like Jesus and take His command to Make Disciples to heart – starting with ourselves!

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[1] The phrase “in church” betrays our current thinking about church. I posit that we can sometimes be more focused on preserving an institution with our numbers, budgets, and ministries than we are about making disciples. We don’t go to church, nor are we called to do so in the Bible. We are the church and are biblically called to, “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near (Hebrews 10:24-25). Most people who’ve given up on the church did not feel encouraged. They felt beat down, discouraged, talked about, slandered, or ignored. How might you react if that was your experience in the church and no one would listen to you?

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